OK!!!! THTS IT!!! I'VE HAD IT!!!! I can't stand those bloody spammers in the band blog!!!! it's like... WTF!!!! And like.. I've had it that people go spammin abt Kelly Zhang... dunno why they do in the first place!!!! I mean... I didn't ask for their bloody opinion... so they shld f*** off and mind their own business!!!! You know... Ever since the spamming... or maybe a little further back.. I keep havin this sickly feeling... That I just wanna and gotta Cry my eys out... But I just can't plus.. I don't even know why I want to!!! but yesterday, after the finials (SNGS had A double silver FYI), it was the worst case ever... I was yearning to cry like helll no matter what happened after... I mean.. Something in me is just tellin me " don't cry... why cry when there's nothing to cry about? why cry when you should be happy with the other trackers? don't cry and old on"... first of all... I dunno why there is a little voice inside me... and it's horrendously familiar... not only that, it reminds me of what happened after trainin the day before my first discus comp (national juniors)... I was like, so depressed coz I was nervous and I was throwin like shit durin that trainin...but the, Kelly (zhang) told me " don't be so depressed.. tomorrow I want you to see you throw with a smile on your face... smile..." she then started tapping my cheek, tryin to make me smile... I admit, I smiled... but then I looked down again... and she wished me luck for the comp and walked off.... I dunno why I remember every single thing she has told me before.... but I just remember it and how it happened and when it happened... It doesn't make sense.. plus... I dunno why I'm like that but every time I see kelly's (zhang) face... I jus feel like crying too.. But Why do I wanna cry? It doesn't make any sense at all....